Dear Lorien,

It is very late at night. You and your brother and sisters are sleeping soundly in bed. When ever I look at you (or your siblings) when you are sleeping I cannot believe how big you are! This has been a sensation I've felt as long as you have been living. Every time I see your body still in slumber I think you look so big! Maybe because when you are awake you move so much I don't get a chance to appreciate how you are growing.

Anyway, I am up late...doing laundry and preparing a lesson for church tomorrow. I had left the TV on while I was in the office looking up a few things on the computer. What ever show was on distracted me from my work with a crying baby. The baby cried and cried on TV and I had to get up to turn the TV off. I made the mistake of watching for a few moments the TV program. The short scene I watched was of a young girl (about your age now-8) caring for a little baby. The house the girl was in was all messy and the girl was trying her best to take care of that little baby. My heart broke. I started to cry. The story was sad. How could this little girl be left to care for a baby when she was just a baby herself? I did not wait to see more of the program, I turned off the TV.

That short scene got me thinking about you. I think about you a lot! Lorien, you are my first child. I feel like I am learning how to parent with you. You were my first baby, my first toddler, my first kid and now my first eight-year-old. When you were a toddler I expected you to act like a bigger girl than you were. It wasn't until Wyatt was a toddler that I realized how much pressure I put on you to be a big girl--when you were still a baby! Because you go through each phase of life first, I learn how to parent that stage of life with you. I make a lot of mistakes. I expect a lot out of you that you might not be able to do. I make mistakes and try to learn...the road is made smoother for your brother and sisters because of what I learn with you.

I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know you are a thoughtful, kind and creative girl. You are spunky and energetic. You try to be a good big sister and succeed beautifully. You love Wyatt, Clare and Adell. You always want to be close to Adell and help with her. You get very upset if harm comes to the baby.

You are growing into a bigger and bigger girl every day. You were baptised last November--you are EIGHT! I was so proud of you. You really understood a lot about the choice you were making to be baptized. Soon you'll move on to another stage of life and I will have to learn how to parent you in that stage too. I am sure I'll make mistakes. I love you Lorien. I hope you know how much I love, love, love you. You are a wonderful girl and I am so thankful for you!

Love,

Momma

Dear Clare,

You are the most pleasing girl I have ever been around. And by "pleasing" I mean, you like to please those around you.

You are quick to express your gratitude for any thing you get...from dinner to dessert to trips to wrestling tournaments. "Oh thank you!" is a phrase you employ frequently.

If you see me or Daddy express our displeasure with one of your siblings--you will quickly go and do the opposite of what ever they are doing. For example: Lorien does not like to do her homework. It takes a long time for her to finish her school work in the evening. Some times Daddy and I get frustrated with her procrastination. If you see us upset with Lorien you run and get some paper and a pencil, sit quietly at the table and write your name, practice numbers or do a home work sheet from Miss Jeanne's. Just to show us you can sit quietly and focus even if Lorien cannot.

When we have a serious talk with the kids, you look us in the eyes and nod your head "yes" to every thing we say. You try very hard to be agreeable.

This attitude of pleasing does not always bubble over to your siblings. You will do what ever will make me and Daddy happy but you do look out for yourself when dealing with Lorien and Wyatt--so far they have not found away to exploit your pleasing nature.

I love you Clare. You make me very happy.

Love,

Momma

Dear Wyatt,

You are stubborn and relentless. I was reminded of these two character traits tonight. Lorien suggested we play a family game before bed (Daddy is away making an Elders Quorum visit). I let Lorien choose the game since it was her idea. You did not want to play the game she picked so you set up dominoes in the hall. When I came back from nursing Adell to start the game. You were lieing on the floor by the game Lorien had set up. When you had a little scuffle with Clare you stormed off to your room and spent the next 25 minutes screaming about how every one in the family hated you. You even went down the list of family names including Daddy and Adell as people who hated you. I did not know what to do! I was heart-broken to hear you saying I hated you... I prayed to Heavenly Father: "Please help me to know what to do and how to comfort Wyatt." After I tucked the girls in bed I went into your room to try and talk with you. You said "If you don't need me, I don't need you!" I don't know where you got the idea that I didn't need you? I made you open the door. We sat on the floor and you let me hold you and rock you for the first time in years I think. We talked about the evening. I assured you that I did not hate you. I made you promise to never say I hated you again. Because I will ALWAYS love you. I might get frustrated about the choices you make but I will never hate you. We snuggled in bed until you just about fell asleep. I hope you know how much I love you.

When you were 18 months old we would take walks around Stanford's campus. On the way home, you would naturally be very tired. You wouldn't want to go home. You would scream and fight me on going home. I would have to snap you into the bike trailer and keep you from trying to climb out. You would scream the whole way home... If I tried to let you out, thinking you would see me walking, not want me to leave you and run to catch-up, you would stay put... I'd walk quite a distance away and you would not follow. You did not want to go home and it did not matter what I did, you were staying put!

When you were 2 and 1/2 we took a walk around the block. You stopped to show me something in a neighbors yard. I could not stop to look. You got mad and refused to walk home. I kept walking...thinking again...you'd follow me home. Nope. You stayed put, yelling "Momma!" the whole time. I came back to you but not before a concerned neighbor had come out of his house wondering where your parents were. I had to scoop you up and carry you home kicking and screaming the whole way.

This is how you are. When some thing upsets you or is not going your way you will not easily bend your will to the direction you don't want it to go. You will fight and scream. You are stubborn and relentless. I am hope these attributes will be beneficial in later years.

I love you Wyatt.

Love,

Momma