Dear Lorien,

It is very late at night. You and your brother and sisters are sleeping soundly in bed. When ever I look at you (or your siblings) when you are sleeping I cannot believe how big you are! This has been a sensation I've felt as long as you have been living. Every time I see your body still in slumber I think you look so big! Maybe because when you are awake you move so much I don't get a chance to appreciate how you are growing.

Anyway, I am up late...doing laundry and preparing a lesson for church tomorrow. I had left the TV on while I was in the office looking up a few things on the computer. What ever show was on distracted me from my work with a crying baby. The baby cried and cried on TV and I had to get up to turn the TV off. I made the mistake of watching for a few moments the TV program. The short scene I watched was of a young girl (about your age now-8) caring for a little baby. The house the girl was in was all messy and the girl was trying her best to take care of that little baby. My heart broke. I started to cry. The story was sad. How could this little girl be left to care for a baby when she was just a baby herself? I did not wait to see more of the program, I turned off the TV.

That short scene got me thinking about you. I think about you a lot! Lorien, you are my first child. I feel like I am learning how to parent with you. You were my first baby, my first toddler, my first kid and now my first eight-year-old. When you were a toddler I expected you to act like a bigger girl than you were. It wasn't until Wyatt was a toddler that I realized how much pressure I put on you to be a big girl--when you were still a baby! Because you go through each phase of life first, I learn how to parent that stage of life with you. I make a lot of mistakes. I expect a lot out of you that you might not be able to do. I make mistakes and try to learn...the road is made smoother for your brother and sisters because of what I learn with you.

I want you to know how proud I am of you. I know you are a thoughtful, kind and creative girl. You are spunky and energetic. You try to be a good big sister and succeed beautifully. You love Wyatt, Clare and Adell. You always want to be close to Adell and help with her. You get very upset if harm comes to the baby.

You are growing into a bigger and bigger girl every day. You were baptised last November--you are EIGHT! I was so proud of you. You really understood a lot about the choice you were making to be baptized. Soon you'll move on to another stage of life and I will have to learn how to parent you in that stage too. I am sure I'll make mistakes. I love you Lorien. I hope you know how much I love, love, love you. You are a wonderful girl and I am so thankful for you!

Love,

Momma